What am I doing?

It's that question "What am I doing with my life?", or more importantly, "What do I want to do with my life." I have no doubt that when I set my mind to it I will be able to do what I want to do, the only problem is I have no idea what I want. Do I want to stay with my current job and work my way up doing a job I do truly do love, or do I want to pursue music and theatre. It's that consistent nagging at my mind. Both would make me happy, but at some point I do feel the need to choose. Who knows what I will chose, for now it's short term goals. Health being the first on that list.

New York is great. I have been here almost 5 months now. It's great and busy and stressful. There are a million people and I find myself sometimes just sitting back and thinking "do I even matter in this sea of people surrounding me". Living with my two best friends answers that question every time I see them, I do. I matter to my friends and my family. I matter to the people that I smile at even if it only makes them happy for one second and they forget me the next. I make a difference at my job and to my coworkers. Will the whole world ever know me? No. Is that a bad thing? Definitely not.

Life is beautiful, I just need to live mine more, rather then wondering HOW I can live more.