Saturday, February 12, 2011

It's okay to feel scared

This week I haven't posted. I would like to make excuses that I have been busy, which I have, but mostly I wasn't ready to admit how scared I am of failure in the continuation of my happiness. I have made a lot of major decisions this past week. I have decided to go back to school to finish my degree. Right now I see myself finishing my degree this next year, spending a year to two years in a Postbaccalaureate Predmedical Program, hopefully at Columbia University here in New York, and then going to medical school so that I can further help people reach their full potential in health and life in general.

The thought of going back to school, especially for a degree such as a medical one, is a huge decision. Medical school is not cheap, there are a lot of hours involved outside of school, the amount of thing you learn are incredibly difficult... not everyone survives it. I will.

I asked one of my former professors to write me a letter of recommendation. He was one of my favorite and most inspiring professors. I gave him a quick overview of what I wanted to do and that I was thinking about going to medical school in the future. Here was a portion of his reply to my request:
"Taking time off is frequently a good idea --- and I think you will find college even more fun and stimulating now. Med school sounds like a great idea as well --- you definitely have all the good qualities --- self-discipline, intelligence, compassion, and many more --- which it takes to succeed. "

These words mean more to me then I can even express. They fill me with a certainty that I can succeed in any task I wish to achieve. My success is limitless because this is what I want to do. I want to help people and make the world a better place. Changing lives for the better is my goal and if that means I am going to push myself out of my comfort zone and accumulate a lot of debt going back to school, so be it. In the end everything will work out just the way it needs to. In the end I will view my life as a success... I already do.

My life is about to change drastically. It is very scary to realize this, but it's okay to be scared. Fear is another emotion we need to let ourselves feel. Internalizing the emotion and then using it in a positive and creative way will help me succeed.

The path of life is always changing. If you run into a block in your road, go around it. If you encounter a wall, knock it down. I am going to do this.

2 comments:

  1. All of our feelings need our love, even fear...especially fear. Love your fear and love yourself for being afraid! Also, remember what the Hendricks say: Fear is frozen excitement. Breath into it! Give it life! Let it melt into excitement. You are so talented and so smart, Jenny. I have no doubt that you will succeed at anything you put your mind to. I admire your courage and can't wait to see everything you do!

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  2. I'll get sick just so you can be my doctor :)
    (please take my insurance though ;) )

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